I have never loved animals. I was afraid of them. But there was something I couldn’t throw in that black kitten’s eyes …
Apparently, when I was a child, one of the doctors decided that I had some kind of autism. Because I didn’t like people, I didn’t know how to talk to them, I didn’t play with my peers, and I preferred to be alone. In addition, I was afraid of animals, even small cats and dogs. Over the years, nothing has changed, and certain phobias have worsened. Therefore, no one was surprised that I did not have a single, husband (I do not like men, I do not like men) or friends. I also chose a profession with little contact with people – I am an archivist.
Since my mother died five years ago, I have lived alone in our family home.
I did not feel unhappy …
I did not miss the change, and even if someone asks me, I am against it. But no one asks us about it. Normally I would take a broom or a stick and drive the cat away!
I spent my fifty-ninth birthday in the cinema as usual. This is my ritual. That day I chose the film with the least number of people from the three films in the repertoire. “Pi Life.” I was captivated by vision and message. I walked home, still reliving the movie scenes. I also decided to go to this movie again the next day.
It was early evening in July. I opened the creaking gate leading to the tortoise in front of the house … The garden microscopic balcony is just a few meters long patch of lawn with a few bushes separated by a stone entrance, maybe not much. The garden at the back of the house was a little larger, about the size of two garages. And the one-story house was fifty-five meters plus an attic and a basement. Of course, it needed a major overhaul, but like most residents in the area, I did not have the means to do so. Well, but I shouldn’t have talked about it …
I was already walking on the balcony when I heard screams and meows. Did I say I don’t love animals? I was afraid of them once, and then only resentment remained. Dirty, stupid, annoying … I bent down and looked under the stairs and came across a pair of green eyes. There was something in my lips that the scream I was going to use to chase the cat went out.
Only then did I see that he was a kitten
Black with white socks. In addition, at an advanced stage of pregnancy. He was breathing hard. I think I was a little impressed by the film – I explain to myself that I did not throw the animal out of the garden that day. I went home and made myself dinner. I read a book and decided to go to bed. I brushed my teeth in the bathroom and … looked at myself in the mirror. And then I realized why the cat’s gaze shook me so much – it was exactly the same as mine. But what did that mean then? I didn’t want to think about it.
I went to bed, but could not sleep. Finally, nervously, I got up, poured a glass of water, and took it outside. I put it near the stairs.
“Have a drink,” I said.
After that, I went to bed again, and this time I fell asleep without fuss. The cat littered two weeks later. He spent this time under my feet, only going out to drink water, settle down, and eat what I left him. Yes, I fed him. Why? I do not know. I laughed at myself for the solidarity of this woman that her son had grown up with her and left her with all the hardships. How familiar is this. I have read and listened to it a lot. Or was it because the animal looked so much like mine? I looked into my eyes in the mirror and wondered what that meant.
“Is my life like this homeless cat?” After all, I am not homeless. “
Black (as I called him) gave birth to five kittens, none of which were as dark as her, just an ordinary pear.
When they got up, I decided to chase them away
A certain ritual emerged – in the morning I opened the door and Black was already sitting behind him, waiting for fresh water and food. I gave him the rest of my table, some meat and fish. He ate everything. Three weeks later, a line of six cats was waiting at the door. It is a sign that breastfeeding is over.
I realized that if this continued, I would never get rid of them. I could not allow this to happen. What now? I decided to take a broom and chase away the cats. Let them go to the neighbors. I went out to the garden and watched the kittens catch butterflies for a while. People say it’s sweet, they share their videos on the internet, they kiss with pleasure. This scene did not affect me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Black coming out from behind the corner. I looked at him – he sat by the stairs and looked at me.
It was as if he was waiting for me to make a decision
This time I understood what his views meant – resignation and surrender to fate. Or at least I thought so. My second thought was, “Well, I’ll chase the cats, but they can come back.” It is known that cats are accustomed to this place. And a war will break out between me and them. I’m not angry about it. “
I needed a final solution that would put cats out of my life forever. I let not only Garani in, but someone else … I came home and wrote an announcement that I had five kittens as a gift. There is no vaccination or deworming. I hung the cards in several places on the property – near the store, on the fences, in the market. The next day, the two girls came with their parents and chose the kittens. Black did not object, just looked at me. I don’t know, is it my fault that I gave them back, or my gratitude that I didn’t strangle them?
He probably doesn’t think about it, but he’s just a cat. I survived the last kitten five days later – she was the weakest and ugliest, red and skinny, and no one wanted her. It was a Saturday, and I was sitting at home ironing when someone knocked on my door. I opened it. There was a woman my age on the porch holding the Redhead. He was smiling broadly.
– Good morning. My name is Rosalia. Is this for a sweet shoot?
Honey … Probably one of those who put tons of cats in the net.
– Of course.
– Excellent. Can I come in for a while? I’ve always wanted to meet you, and now I have a reason – the cat has grown.
I wanted to say that she didn’t need anything from me for why she came, but Rosalia was so happy that I couldn’t refuse her.
What do you mean he wanted to meet me?
He sat in the kitchen. Although he did not look around, I was sure he felt everything.
– I am the mistress of the church. Sometimes you come to our church. In addition to the mass. I know you are not looking for a company, so I did not dare to talk. Anyway, I feel great here and we were in the same class. In elementary school, she looked at me with hope.
I don’t remember anyone from elementary or high school. I ran away from people. I did not meet their eyes, I did not listen to what they said. But Rosalia … A little hairy girl, a real living silver, when she saw me, she annoyed me with her energy. He wanted to be friends with me while I was in the first grade of elementary school for a few weeks. That’s why I remembered him. Because all of a sudden, I regretted being the way I was.
One night before going to bed, I thought it would be fun to be friends with him. Maybe he could teach me to laugh. It may have taken fifty years for that dream to come true. Rosalie came into my life and never left. Slowly I was surrounded by friends, who allowed me to stand outside for a while and warm up in the heat of their lives at the same time. Probably a factor as to why they’re doing so poorly. What about a cat? When all of Charna’s children found a home, we looked into each other’s eyes.
Now I know what connected me with Charna
Longing for loneliness and friendship. So one morning when I opened the door and Black was sitting on the porch as usual, waiting for the water to come in, I took a step back to let him in. As he passed me, he rubbed it lightly on my feet. It was beautiful. Maybe one day he will jump into my arms and I will caress him. Maybe then I will see joy in his eyes.
“When my father-in-law died, he changed to a father-in-law. He was involved in our lives, he made my shorts without calling “
“I knew in that look that he had survived. I tried to dissuade Cassia from terminating the pregnancy, and I was right. This child saved his life “
“Adrian has been torturing and persecuting me for months. The police silenced me. They will be interested when they hurt me “